Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
