found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
