Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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