I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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