Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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