dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My pussy is not your playground.
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She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
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We're using joints as your birthday candles
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.