Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
