Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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