take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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