Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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