Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
