I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize