how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
