rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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