Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize