my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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