I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
