She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
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..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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