and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
