Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
