Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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