quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I want a musical about memes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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