no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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