i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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