I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
