the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
