i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
