He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
