my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I love having hate sex.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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