i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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