A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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