Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
