I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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