I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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