Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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