the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
