Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
