bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
