I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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