He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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