So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
