i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
