end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
