also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
