Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
