Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
