I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's blow job season.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
