Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
