btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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