Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
