your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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