Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
