so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
