FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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