he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize