I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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