Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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